This evening i am inspired to write about these lil' debates we have with our men and we end up saying things we regret the next morning. So this evening i got to the house to find my boyfriend stressed and he wanted to take a walk. I did not mind it at all. I skipped gym anyway because I forgot my sneakers in the house, so i needed it as well to distress. I told him we needed to do 3 kms and we would run on the way back. I followed his lead, walking down this mountain i was enjoying it and actually thinking if i will cope running back. We would meet other couples jogging, it was fun.
On the way back he started running and i felt i was not ready yet so i picked up the walking pace until i started running. He is slim and I’m bigger. Obviously his pace is gonna be fast and mine slower. I ran for some time and i would get tired and walk, he pushed me from the back and told me how i actually needed to run more than he did, reminding me how i skipped gym today so i had to run. I got really mad and started parading my body and told him i was bigger but better, reminding him how he was attracted to this hot big body. He saw the thick legs (he first noticed me in a short dress, slightly above the knee), he saw the big tummy and now what the hell. He was really surprised at my reaction. Men really do not know how we hate it when they talk badly about our weight, it’s like telling him his dick is small, he'll hate you for the rest of his life.
I am just lying here in bed angry and he is watching tv. I am clearly not getting some tonite... I would ask him "you want this hot big booty"... And i want him to say YES.
The thing is, there are sensitive topics that need to be addressed in a better way like why I do not have kids maybe I am barren so ask me first and not just assume we are all happy about it. I can transform myself but no one can come and transform me if change is not within me. I must find the peace within and the energy to do it NOT to be forced down my throat. The moment I do not feel appreciated someone else will appreciate me more and I will fall on that cheating trap and who will you blame, Me? What about what you did that led me to that.
The weight is my problem not His problem unless I do not satisfy him in bed then we can talk. As long as I can stretch, twerk and bend, I need to take things easy. He needs to support and love me and not point out my big tummy. If I decide to walk, walk slowly besides me and not push me to it.
I love all the thick women reading this….