It is amazing how time flies and the world changes so fast. Not so long ago the African nation took pride in its culture and letting the man lead in anything and everything. The place of the women was in the kitchen or house while the man hustled, read newspapers and watched news later on. We really did not care about being house wives and we did not even think there was anything called an estate to share or a will to be crafted for just in case situations. All we cared about was our children, husband and homes.
This little arrangement got everyone comfortable, no one saw the changes coming. In the early 80s the trend still continued, men were serious about education and being soul providers. The minority had started questioning how things worked but could not influence the world. Men respected women, however, being aware of the power they possessed they gave them the opportunity to protect their homes and the husbands knew they would rely on them. Sex was never a problem; I am not sure whether the sex drive was low or people avoided the subject. Those were the best times to live in, the generation was more content and satisfied. Do not get me wrong but we all know the last sound generation ended in the 80s.
Now, as times changed we were introduced to the other side of the coin; Marriage out of community of property. This type of marriage has been there for years but no one cared how it worked. This generation knows everything and it started scrutinizing and itemizing things. We started asking why? We seemed to be bothered by the fact that all items are shared and split equally. What if I put in more than he did? Why should we share equally.? Women started realizing that chores can be shared and the kitchen was not their place anymore. They fought for their rights, only heaven knows what those are. We realised that education was possible for all genders and we equipped ourselves focusing more on the girl child or women.
Education brings about changes that no one has ever thought of. Education is not wisdom but it enlightens our minds and triggers our thinking capacity. Men started recognising that women were now leading in the education area and there was no backing down. Little did they know that the women have more information and their thinking has changed. Relationships were now a partnership unlike in the past where the man was the chairperson, vice-chairperson, treasurer and member in the union with no assistance. Marriages are treated like a business there must be a partnership contract stipulating all shared chores; who washes the dishes and when. Men did not see this one coming. They paid too much attention on power and neglected a part of them. Now they realise they have been beaten and there is no going back because the trend is continuing to the next generation.
The women claim the pre- and post- marital and civil partnership agreement acts as protection for their investments in relationships. They have learnt from the best. Some divorce settlement end well, some do not. If you are not married, you end up losing everything to a man because of the power he has and the financial muscle. The revolving world and vulnerability has taught us to open our eyes and ears. We are submissive and we love in our own different way. I can brew my own coffee without feeling guilty that I did not offer my partner a cup, he has to do it himself because I am also tired from work.
“We love our partners but can we also have security, something that will address us in all our entirety.” That is the voice of a worn out women. Who has had struggles in life, learnt from the past and originated an insurance for herself in fear of the worst.